My Visit to Waffle House in Roanoke, VA
In my opinion, there are certain things that fall under a category of being gloriously trashy and redneck. Some of these things include: wearing cut-off jean shorts, using the phrase “I done” before most verbs in a sentence, carrying a plastic bottle to be used for spitting dip, and having a camo hat with a fish hook on the bill. Eating at a Waffle House could probably also be included in this category.
Waffle House locations are primarily found in the southeast and it’s the classic greasy, breakfast joint. Up until a few years ago, it was a restaurant that allowed smoking and diners took full advantage of the opportunity. A trip to the Awful Waffle usually meant leaving with the stench of cigarette smoke on you for hours after.
Fortunately, Waffle House restaurants are now non-smoking facilities, meaning everyone steps outside every ten minutes to light up instead.
I was on my own for dinner recently and decided to visit for old time’s sake. It was just as authentic as I remembered.
My food arrived quickly and both items were very good. The waffle was light, sweet, and fluffy and I topped it with butter and syrup. It was soft enough to cut with a fork but wasn’t uncooked like a waffle you get from a waffle-maker at a hotel. The hashbrowns were greasy, crispy, and hot - just the way they should be. I would have preferred the onions to be cooked a little more and I should have skipped the tomatoes because I use ketchup anyway but I was still a big fan. With tip, my dinner ended up costing around $8.00.
But to only talk about the food leaves out a huge element of going to Waffle House.
The conversations that take place among the diners and staff are what really makes this place unique and ridiculous. When I went, the topic of the night seemed to be centered around monkeys and orangutans. Folks were discussing how monkeys fling their poop and how you can buy an orangutan on Craig’s List. Then, they pondered whether that orangutan would also fling his poop.
Afterwards, one gentleman shared that he was going outside to smoke a joint. I can neither confirm nor deny that he then proceeded to step up outside and get high. Although, I do have reliable sources (my own eyes) that he was standing outside smoking something.
Going to Waffle House is something everyone has to do at least once. The food is good but the atmosphere is what makes the whole thing so hilarious. You can always count on a funny story or two while you enjoy a tasty waffle and some hashbrowns that are scattered, smothered, & covered.
Read more about how I created the most Georgia meal ever at Waffle House.
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